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ChuizZ
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Name: Chui
Country: Australia
Metro: Melbourne
Birthday: 8/19/1984
Gender: Female
Interests: [ my family<3 ¤ my boy<3 ¤ my friends<3 ¤ my puppy<3 ][ drawing ¤ grafix ¤ photoshop ¤ anime ¤ singing(karoke!) ¤ piano ¤ writing ¤ ice skating ¤ chatting ¤ RBJ<3 ][ sour lollies ¤ ice cream ¤ bubble tea ¤ mocha<3 ¤ pasta ¤ kimchi chiggae ][ autumn ¤ sunny days ][ RNB ¤ alternative ¤ Cpop ¤ Kpop ¤ Jay Chau ¤ David Tao ¤ Stefanie Sun ¤ Fish Leong ¤ Delta Goodrem ¤ Mariah ][ Desperate Housewives ¤ Nip/Tuck ¤ Medium ¤ The Simpsons ¤ korean series ¤ cartoons&anime ¤ comedies ]
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
MSN: seek & ye shall find ^_~
Member Since:
2/24/2005
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| "So," she implored with rounded brown eyes. "Can you fix it?" with all the unbridled earnestness of a puppy.
"How?!" I returned, exasperated. I lifted it gingerly, something crumbled & I winced. "It's in a really bad way. Where would I even start!"
"Does that matter? Just...try. Please?" The brown eyes deepened & shimmered.
"Um...well, technically if the reason it's in this condition is due to your own doing, then you'll just have to deal with it as is." I offered a crooked, contrite smile.
Slight furrow in her brow, uh oh.
Then the brown eyes shone with a spark of realisation, double uh oh.
"But...you agreed! I had your support, eventually. This is your doing too." She smiled eagerly, waiting.
I chewed my lower lip. She had a point.
I exhaled forcefully.
"Look, even if I knew how to, where would I get the parts? How do I even know if I can find it?"
The brown eyes lowered. Through the eyelashes peeked...sorrow? Pain? Remorse?
"I..." she said quietly, then trailed off.
I examined the broken & dejected heart laying before me.
"Aside from that, I don't know how long it will take. Can you wait?"
Silence.
I looked up again into the brown eyes,
but the brown eyes in the mirror had no answer... | | |
| i miss u like crazy
but i promise/d to be strong. i promised this time i would use every ounce of my willpower & i am using every bloody mental & emotional resource i can muster.
fck.
so i can't even tell u that i miss u like crazy...i can't even do that...sigh.
maybe ur somewhere right this moment missing me like crazy being pushed to the boundaries of ur own willpower not to contact me on 'that' level anymore
sigh. but this is for the best. mutually, bipartisan.
i hate that. 'you can do better'. define 'better'. maybe i just let go of what was truly my 'better' in order to pursue something that better matched your 'better'.
nonono. no what ifs. it's done (for like the 3rd bloody time. it doesn't get any easier just coz u've done it before!!!) & it must stay done. at least for now. define 'for now'. how long exactly is that? please tell me. i don't know how much more of this i can take. no that's stupid. shut up. you can do it.
but i miss you...
tell me how to make it stop. i can do it if i make it stop...
i cried myself to sleep last night
is that really doing 'better'???
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| hello old friend, my dear blog
my dusty repository for divulging the burdens of my secret heart
this is one of the few places where my heart has a voice
where i can speak out the truths that i can't air in real life
i neglect you terribly, but at least you're here when i can no longer bear it
it's a sad life when the situation is as such, it means you have no authentic self. or that the self u present in the 'real world' is a little short-changed. well, not that you'd know it looking at me, if i've done a good job facade-ing that is
anyway i just wanted to say
well, just share the irony of the lessons you learn in life
in the space of less than a year, i learned that
because you've lost love, you have to let someone go
but also
it's because you love, you have to let someone go
life's a bit of a bitch that way, sardonic & twisted.
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| How long this hallway is, filled with gilded frames around those whose
eyes judge, lined with alabaster pillars, candlelight vacillating from
flickering to strong, shadows collapsed across my path.
These steps, they feel so weary, feel so measured, not my own.
Tentative toes first, position witnessed on bated breath by echoing
shadow feet.
How I long to shed this way of being, the figures in this life, the meaningful attachments.
A habit weighing on my angled shoulders like a cloak of layered arms
that tug and slow my pace til accomplishing one step feels like a
marathon of effort.
But
If I could just find the point at which it snared itself around these
shoulders, unclasped it so it fell, how liberating it would feel to
cast off its heavy burden. And, as it collapsed and slumped upon
itself, I would gleefully observe its demise over my shoulder as I flee
with a spring in my step, heedless of my direction, simply dancing a
filigree course.
Remain the keystone or crumble free... | | |
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